AN ALMOST "MAGIC" WAY TO HEAL YOUR TOXIC RELATIONSHIP TRAUMA!
Hi, I'm May Abougabal
Owner of Wakefield Therapy
In this report,
I’ll show you how to break your partner's control, heal your trauma, and build insane strength and confidence to do anything you set your mind to, all in one foolproof, super easy step.
If you've been overpowered and traumatized in a toxic relationship keep reading cause what you're about to discover will change your life forever.
Table Of Contents
" Maybe I Just Need To Cope With It"
The Blueprint of a Controlling Mind
Why Are You Doing This? I Mean, REALLY, Why?
Recovering The Trauma Is NOT Your Solution.
Disclaimer
While the male pronoun was used for the text flow, it’s important to note that controlling behavior is not tied to any specific gender.
Can You Relate?
"I’m really confused; am I that bad, stupid, and inferior,
or is it him always putting me down so he looks amazing and superior?
Who am I? What I like or dislike is not on the map anymore; it’s all about him.
Since I wake up every morning, I think about how to please him,
and don’t get me wrong,
these thoughts are not out of love but mostly out of fear of what will happen if I don’t.
The fear of being blamed for everything that goes wrong;
the fear of rage and punishment if I dare to step out of the box.
I wonder what life out of the box looks like.
It’s hard to imagine since he deliberately kept killing every little spark of creativity inside me.
How dare I be creative and think or feel?
He thinks and feels for me because, obviously
(as he planted in my head for years and years),
I don’t know how to do it;
I don’t know how to think or feel, and I always get it wrong.
But I can try to remember what life was like before I willingly entered the box,
thinking that I had finally found my safe place.
I was sociable and happy; people loved me, and I loved them.
I loved to be surrounded by people, connecting, interacting, and helping.
I didn’t tolerate disrespect from anyone,
and my heart never carried hatred for anyone.
I had hopes, dreams, and future plans;
life was full of colors for me.
I had good potential, I was good at what I did,
and everyone treated me with respect.
What happened?
How did I end up isolated, suffocated, unable to smile, and resentful?
Where are my family and my best friends?
How did I give them up? And why?
How did I give up my education and my career plans?
And after all these years,
I don’t even own a penny.
My body was once full of joy and happiness,
but now it's full of anxiety, headaches, and pain.
I feel weak, and I've lost who I am.
I’m so miserable."
Dating a Controller
Blinded by his charm and so-called wisdom, she didn’t see it coming.
During their dating,
everything about him seemed intense,
from the way he showered her with affection to the crazy, deep connection she felt.
And those intimate moments?
They were super.
She was totally caught up,
convinced she was living the dream and had found
'the love of her life,'
but little did she know!
I'm willing to bet that you, too, never saw it coming.
Controlling behavior isn’t very obvious when you’re dating.
It’s when the commitment happens
that controllers feel safe enough to fully show their domineering side.
But if we rewind to your dating days,
I'm sure you’d recall some signs
that have triggered a subtle feeling of unease toward your partner.
Those times you silenced your gut and told yourself,
'maybe he is just one of a kind.'
But in all honesty,
those signs weren't merely red flags;
they were frickin fireworks!
He didn’t like your friends and family, and he subtly isolated you from them.
He forced a curfew or
gave you an attitude whenever you spent time with your friends.
Whenever you disagreed, he made you look superficial.
He commented on your body in a way that lowered your self-esteem.
He was very sarcastic about things you said or did.
He made you feel like you were not living up to his expectations.
He checked your handbag or cellphone.
He commented on what you should or should not wear.
He had few friends and didn’t share them.
And, oh!
You do not need to work cause he makes enough money.
He sometimes overinflated you and made you feel special,
but when you didn’t praise him in return, he stopped giving you the special treatment.
He had a controlling parent or sibling.
He didn’t validate your thoughts or feelings.
He passively punished you whenever you didn’t comply,
either by withdrawing for days or being cold on phone calls.
You didn’t feel loved except when you complied.
When you complied,
you were showered with love and affection,
which made you believe that you were the one with the bad behavior.
And...
Part of you wasn't really feeling happy during dating,
even though, on the surface,
he seemed all sorts of awesome.
Commitment with a Controller
Because you didn't have the experience or knowledge,
you couldn't see those signs or recognize his dating behavior as mistreatment.
You were completely taken in,
but he?
He subtly tossed all these actions to see how you'd react.
Your approval of everything he did assured him that you were the perfect match.
He felt confident enough to move the relationship with lightning speed;
after all,
he didn't have to break a sweat to get you on board.
You were already there,
with a bow on top.
And whether you moved in together or tied the knot,
it's the one darn thing all controllers have in common:
once there is commitment,
they start revealing their true colors.
He became possessive and controlling.
The relationship became all about him; his likes and dislikes.
He totally isolated you from friends and family.
You’re not allowed to have a job or a hobby.
He controls all the finances to keep you dependent and under control.
You may have a bank account, but you don’t control it.
He controls your sleep and when to wake up.
You’re not allowed to do something for yourself,
even if it’s just taking some rest or reading a book,
without being guilt-tripped or given an attitude.
He is always breathing over your shoulder and interrogating you.
You’re not allowed to make any decisions,
he makes all the decisions for you.
You're overly cautious to prevent "setting him off."
He set up tracking on your phone to know your location at all times.
He gives you the silent treatment for days, weeks, or months,
expecting you to mind-read him and figure out why he's mad without him speaking.
He discourages you whenever you have a goal or a dream.
He finds fault in everything you do,
and yells at you for the dumbest things.
He shows you love and affection only when you do what he wants.
He always tells you what you should think, feel, or say.
He chooses what’s best for him
without having your best interests at heart.
He doesn't compliment you.
He is jealous, competitive, or envious towards others including you.
He puts the blame on you for everything that goes wrong and you never win,
like you’re in a double bind;
whatever you say or do, you still lose.
He withholds sex,
even though he was highly sexual in the beginning.
He makes every topic revolve around him,
he craves praise and never gets enough.
He doesn’t reach out, hug, or touch you unless he wants to have sex.
He is very self-centered and only relates to his feelings;
he couldn’t care less about yours.
He heavily criticizes you, your education, what you wear, what you do, etc.
He calls you oversensitive for not taking his demeaning sarcasm or behavior.
He forcefully backlashes you if you call him out on something,
and he never says sorry or takes blame for anything wrong he does.
It Comes In Flavors
It really doesn’t matter if the controller is a boy or a girl;
these controlling types come in both flavors.
Their main rule is pretty simple:
“Do what I want, or I will punish you.”
And with all sorts of punishment,
passive or aggressive,
you live in fear of making mistakes and learn it’s just safer to do as they say.
Nearly every single one of them shares the same traits,
but how hardcore they go,
that’s when they differ greatly.
The more control they crave,
the more insecure, vulnerable, and lacking in control they feel inside,
and the more chaotic their childhood has been.
To put it simply,
let’s imagine a spectrum that ranges from subtle to violent control.
At the chill end of the controlling spectrum are
the non-abusive controllers;
those can be your emotionally needy co-worker, friend, or relative.
They’ll shower you with favors
as an upfront payment for your loyalty,
all while hoping you remain silent when they repeatedly invade your personal space.
Right in the heart of the controlling spectrum,
you’ll find the anxious controllers.
Those are no walk in the park;
they view the world through the lens of fear and
are always imagining the worst-case scenario.
If your partner happens to be one of them,
he’ll wrap you up in a bubble.
He’ll prevent you from expressing yourself or pursuing your goals and dreams
with the excuse of protecting the relationship or the family.
You're always expected to display your absolute loyalty and obedience;
they either have the whole of you or you’re the ultimate betrayer.
The anxious controllers are in the doorway between the non-abusers and the abusers.
They may not be aggressive or violent,
but they’ll entirely destroy your sense of self and erase your identity.
Now, for the grand finale,
where the spotlight shines on the Godzilla-sized controllers:
the narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths.
Those guys aren't just at the far end of the spectrum;
they're in a whole different universe of abuse.
We're talking about the heavyweights;
they are very aggressive, violent, and damaging.
The latter kind of controllers will go all the way to force their control through extreme actions
such as locking you in the house
and not allowing you to have a car, phone, or internet.
They’re into bullying,
using all kinds of threats to scare you,
physically attacking you,
and calling you demeaning names even in public.
They burst into rage, destroy property, beat you,
and even kick you out of the house over the slightest disagreement.
"Maybe I Just Need To Cope With It"
So, where are you now?
You're blaming yourself for all the bad things;
you’re the one who did wrong,
upsetting him.
When you complied and did what he wanted,
he treated you like gold.
This made you crave seeing his good side,
and you believed that you were the one guilty of not showing enough love
and just needed to put in more effort.
You even convinced yourself that as long as he didn’t get physical,
it wasn’t real abuse,
even when the verbal and emotional abuse has torn and broken you down
to the point of questioning your own self-worth.
You probably believed that if you could just cope with it,
things would get better
and you’d have peace in your life.
But playing the coping game didn’t do you any favors.
The more you did,
the more he wanted,
and the more you became exclusive to him.
Plus, it only takes one innocent little wish,
like going out with friends or having a hobby,
to get you kicked out of his so-called heaven.
In the end,
you felt powerless cause you never prioritized yourself.
Everyone else's comfort and happiness seemed more important.
Ironically,
you felt guilty for hurting him,
and you were scared to hurt the family
or have your kids lose a good parent.
It’s as if your kids aren’t going through the same abuse,
or they won't be deeply traumatized by seeing their mom being abused.
Or maybe you've thought about leaving,
but you're scared;
what if it doesn’t work out?
You’ve invested so much in this relationship,
and the idea of starting from scratch is tough.
It's so hard to leave when this person is all you have.
You’re scared that if you lose him,
you won’t find someone else who’ll accept and love you,
even when that same person is the one putting so much fear in your heart.
You’ve been trapped
in the uncertainty and "what ifs."
You forgot that uncertainty is a natural part of the glorious 'change' process.
It’s the ceremony of breaking out of the box.
Maybe you did leave at some point,
but you got sucked back in,
believing his regrets and promises to change.
Only to feel so stupid
when he slowly returned back into his old ways after a brief good act.
Or perhaps you did manage to break free,
but the trauma has weighed you down as you tried to stand on your own two feet,
especially with kids in the picture.
He might be stalking you,
and when it comes to co-parenting or advocating for your children,
he is just making your life a nightmare.
The Punching Bag Syndrome
Now, how do you feel about all of it?
Let me tell you,
it's a frickin pain party.
You're stuck in this with emotions you never signed up for.
You’re feeling weak,
suffocated,
isolated,
financially restricted,
inferior, and you’re never good enough,
anxious and in constant fear,
living an emotional draught,
totally lost who you are,
constantly apologizing even when you did nothing wrong,
depressed,
blaming yourself for all the problems with your partner,
resentful,
very tense when your partner is around,
hurt, sad, and confused about the lost intimacy,
in denial and making excuses for his behavior,
overly cautious about what you say or do because of how he might react,
exhausted from trying to live up to his expectations.
To sum it up,
you're feeling like a punching bag,
powerless and traumatized.
Substance abuse,
suicidal thoughts,
headaches, heart palpitations,
aches, sleeping difficulties,
eating disorders,
PTSD, or IBS
are just your body paying the high price.
The Blueprint of a Controlling Mind
(Why Is He Doing This?)
Before talking about the solution,
we need to know first:
What is the deal with these controllers?
I mean, seriously,
what makes someone want to be the ultimate boss?
Controllers have more scars than comic heroes.
In their early lives,
they were raised either by super-controlling parents or
by one very controlling parent ,
while the other parent was absent either physically or emotionally.
So, they received rigidity, criticism, and perfectionism from one side
and zero support from the other.
Their parents were just big kids who never grew up.
Their unspoken plan was to raise needy, dependent children
who'd be stuck at home
with no choice but to stroke their parents' egos with praise and obedience.
And if those kids didn't do exactly what their parents wanted
or couldn't live up to their exhausting expectations,
their parents were harsh.
They'd crush their kids' self-esteem with unfair comparisons
and a constant shower of negative comments about everything they do.
They’ll make their kids feel even more insecure and guilty
by always telling them that they're flawless parents,
blaming all their problems on their child.
In public,
those parents would love to show off their kids' achievements.
But behind closed doors,
they became really critical.
They'd pick on their kids for even tiny mistakes
and rarely give them support or encouragement.
They'd scold their kids whenever they tried to share their real emotions, be it sadness, hurt, or anger.
As a result, those kids grew up holding onto their emotions tight, not giving a damn about how others feel.
To an outsider,
this family might seem all healthy and happy,
but if you dig a little,
you'll find a mess of a family hiding behind fake closeness.
Sometimes, the parents would show extreme kindness,
but it's like,
"I did this for you; now you owe me forever."
So kids learned that love is conditional and comes with a price.
This toxic parenting led their kids to adopt one or more coping mechanisms.
One kid might copy his parents and turn into a “controller”, believing,
"If I don't want to be the victim, I've got to be the one in charge."
Another might take on the role of “peacemaker”,
working hard to hold everyone together.
Ironically, despite his name,
this kid can't find inner peace since he constantly struggles to ignore his conscience,
turning a blind eye and deaf ear to please everyone in the family.
A third one might choose to speak out against the things that hurt his conscience.
Sadly,
that poor one ended up as the "scapegoat,"
taking abuse from both his parents and siblings,
and later he may find himself attracted to controllers in future relationships.
This family dynamic is super common with narcissistic parents.
As we said earlier,
narcissists are at the far end of the controlling spectrum.
I could write volumes about narcissistic personalities,
but I don't want you drowning in details.
The whole point of this report is
to keep it straightforward and help you see the big picture.
Trust me on this one;
it all comes down to one thing:
It doesn't matter what flavor of controller you've got;
the solution's always the same
(we'll get into that in a minute).
With a chaotic childhood,
controllers were left with heavy insecurities and a serious lack of self-worth.
How did they cope?
They tried to mask it by being domineering,
but please don't confuse that with dominating.
A dominant person is naturally strong.
His strength comes from competence, compassion, and confidence.
He doesn’t need to fake it since he pretty much knows his worth.
A domineering person, on the other hand,
doesn’t have compassion and doesn’t give a damn about how others feel.
He is very self-centered and only relates to his feelings.
He controls to get recognition for the qualities he believes he doesn’t have.
He might act all big and tough,
but deep down,
he feels weak and immature.
Controllers soaked up their parents’ irrational fears of the outside world.
They controlled it to feel safe,
but it was all a facade.
Fake safety because it relied on external reasons,
not on them actually feeling worthy or loving themselves.
Controllers absolutely don't love themselves.
They feel like frauds.
Most controllers are good people, but they don't know it.
I've worked closely with many of them, and I was truly impressed with their qualities.
Sadly,
their insecurities act like a layer of mud covering a shining diamond.
They've got the potential to shine amazingly
if they choose to confront their demons and heal.
But what do they do?
Instead of cleaning off the mud,
they try to pretty it with nail polish!
They control to mask their feelings of inferiority.
They believe they're not good enough to be loved naturally by others,
so they forcefully get love and acceptance by domineering.
And that’s the same reason why they crave praise,
cause they don’t feel worthy, and the only way they can feel it is by hearing it.
Controllers are always on edge.
The stress from trying to control the uncontrollable messes with every part of their bodies.
Most of them are very anxious, depressed, or suffering from other health issues like
migraines, IBS, sleep difficulties,
backaches, heart problems,
and high blood pressure, to name a few.
They’re 24/7 worried about things going wrong that they insist on controlling every tiny detail
and dictating the thoughts, feelings, reactions, and behaviors of others.
I mean, seriously,
it's an impossible dream to chase,
and it's costing them their sanity and health.
All this controlling behavior doesn't bring them genuine happiness.
It's more like a sigh of relief,
like when you've been chased by a tiger and finally find a hiding spot.
A little taste of safety that doesn't last long in their world of make-believe danger.
Now, let's be clear:
trying to understand why people control isn't about making excuses for them.
It's about shining a light on just how messed up they might be inside.
Keep in mind that it's not your job to fix them,
and you can't change someone who doesn't want to change.
Controllers believe they're right all the time,
and there's nothing wrong with their behavior.
It takes a lot of work to make them aware of how they're destroying other people's lives,
and even being aware certainly isn't enough.
They've got to mix that awareness with a real desire for change
and put in some serious deep-dive therapy work to make a lasting change.
Why Are You Doing This?
I Mean, Really, Why?
Now, There's one last question we MUST answer before cracking the code,
and it's the million-dollar question:
Why is this happening to you?
A Scene
He was lying in bed,
wearing a white shirt and gray pajama pants,
while she rocked a sleek black strappy nightgown.
Slowly, she inched closer to him from the far end of the bed,
nestling her head gently on his shoulder.
With a soft voice,
she said, "I miss you babe."
Without taking his eyes off his phone,
he casually replied, "Yeah babe, I miss myself too."
In a brief but haunting moment,
a painful memory popped up,
one of her dad's rage episodes.
She replayed a scene where she'd been backed into a corner,
and her dad was brutally beating her.
A deep sense of shame held her back from letting out a scream or even twitching.
It was during that very moment she made a life-altering decision,
she had to numb her feelings to escape the excruciating pain,
a coping mechanism
to ensure she'd never feel again.
The left side of her body got all achy from the beatdown,
so she quietly shifted her stance,
offering her right side to her dad's never-ending hits.
As the beatdown continued,
she couldn't tell if her body had gone numb
from the pounding
or simply from not feeling it.
Pulling herself back to the present moment,
she turned away from her husband to hide a tear and whispered,
"Good night babe."
So, Why is this happening to you?
Why couldn't you just have a normal life with one of those TikTok-dancing, playful, easy-going guys?
Or someone who reaches out, cuddles, and gives away free hugs?
Why did you end up with a rigid, bossy partner who couldn't care less about your feelings?
Well, get ready for a surprise,
and it's a good one!
It's not about him; it's about you.
Wait, what?!
Yeah, and that's a good thing.
Bear with me.
Think back to when you were a kid.
Chances are,
you had someone from your past who was somewhat similar to your controlling partner,
a strong parental figure or an authority figure who never let you express yourself
and killed every spark of creativity you tried to show.
Even though he/she might not have been supportive and sometimes was violent and abusive,
part of you still loved him/her and wanted his/her acceptance.
You ended up with a controlling partner because you were treated that way during your early life.
Even though you hated nothing more, you loved it.
Hate or love?
How can you have two conflicting emotions for the same thing?
You consciously and rationally hated the controlling behavior, and you had every reason to.
But in your subconscious, oh boy, it's a different story.
You were mistreated in your early life,
and it became a program that runs automatically in your subconscious;
it became your familiar pattern.
And here's a psychological fact:
Our subconscious sees the familiar as pleasure, even if it's not pleasurable.
Now, you consciously hate being controlled,
but you love it subconsciously.
With your subconscious making up 90% of your mind (literally and physically) while your conscious is only 10%,
guess who’s winning?
As a rule of thumb,
in any conflict where your conscious wants something and your subconscious wants the opposite,
it’s the subconscious that always wins and dominates.
No wonder, it’s just bigger and more powerful. ( more details about this in Let's talk about your objections )
Therefore, you'll keep finding yourself stuck in the same pattern,
irresistibly drawn to controllers.
We're creatures of habit, and humans tend to repeat patterns, even when they're not good for us.
Our minds work in programs,
from how we handle money to how we interact with people, even how we tie our shoelaces,
it's all based on these mental programs.
Now, dive back into your past once more.
You probably had a wonderful relationship at some point where your partner was incredibly sweet and treated you like royalty.
But somehow, things soured,
and now you're left wondering why such a good thing fell apart.
The truth is,
you weren't used to being treated that well.
Even though that partner treated you the best,
part of you was uncomfortable and sabotaged the relationship
because it was unfamiliar to your mind (that's your subconscious in action).
And here's another psychological fact:
Our subconscious sees the unfamiliar as pain, even if it’s pleasurable.
Now, why am I telling you all of this?
When I said it was a good surprise,
I meant it!
You've been running on autopilot for all these years,
with a dysfunctional program running your life.
Now that you're aware of it,
you can not just interrupt it but frickin crush it.
The remote control is in your partner’s hand just because you gave it to him,
not because he is super powerful.
You gave him that control without realizing it.
But guess what?
You can take it back.
You gave yourself permission to be controlled because,
deep down, it felt a bit familiar to you and even kind of nice to your mind.
That explains why, early in the relationship, you didn't really like your partner,
but you were deeply attracted to him at the same time.
On a side note,
this is not to justify the controlling behavior,
but figuring out your part in this game is radically crucial.
I'm shinning a light on why you're putting up with it,
and that's a whole other story.
I want to stress that your partner doesn't give you a hard time because of you;
it's all about his own need to run the show.
You absolutely don't deserve to be mistreated by anyone.
Your partner's actions are on him,
and it goes both ways—you're also in charge of your own actions.
Even if you did or said something that got him all riled up,
it’s okay, we're all humans and slip up sometimes.
But it's not okay for him to disrespect you or attack you verbally or physically because of it.
His reaction is entirely his own responsibility,
and he should be held accountable for the hurt he causes.
Related to this,
it's worth mentioning that not every victim in controlling relationships had a rough childhood.
Some just ended up there due to a lack of experience.
While a few of them didn't stay in the relationship for an extended period,
they still came out of it deeply traumatized.
Others, however, stayed in the relationships for ages,
often due to financial reasons or to keep things stable for their kids.
Let's get back on point:
It was easy for him to control you because your past trauma primed you to be controlled.
But what if you could rid yourself of the very thing that turned you into prey for this control?
Imagine cleansing all that trauma from your past,
including the scars he gave you.
Then, you’ll emerge from that process not just strong but unshakably confident and fearless.
And it's a different brand of strength
that's as authentic as it gets.
Those bossy people aren't as strong as they seem.
Behind all that control are a bunch of worries and insecurities.
They just pretend to be powerful,
but notice how they become childish and terribly break down when things don’t go their way.
Don't fool yourself into thinking they hold all the cards.
If you choose to heal,
that will change the very game they've been playing.
That’ll move you to the driver's seat.
But let’s pause here.
First off, the goal is not to overpower your partner;
we’re not super villains;
we’re some good guys just trying to keep things fair.
If there’s room for improvement in your relationship,
then it’s time to switch up to a winning strategy.
I’ll help you transform into a certified superstar of self-worth;
you'll start feeling like a million bucks.
You'll stop neglecting yourself and start giving yourself the VIP treatment.
You’ll take care of yourself physically and emotionally.
Your needs will become as important as those of everyone else around you.
You’ll feel strong,
and you’ll be able to do anything you set your mind to with nothing holding you back.
You'll realize that since you're busting yourself to meet your responsibilities,
you've earned the right to have your needs met as well.
When you start embracing yourself this way,
your partner’s control will slowly but surely balance out.
As you grow stronger,
your brand-new actions will start to send a different signal,
that the rules are changing.
It's only a matter of time before he start catching your new signals more clearly.
But here's the juicy part:
It’s very important in this phase to treat your partner even better;
that’s crucial, especially if you want to keep this relationship.
At first, your newfound strength will be intimidating to your partner,
and he may react forcefully,
like a wounded tiger.
Losing control over you is very threatening for him;
after all, it’s his survival mechanism.
So, while you continue to go all the way to build yourself and grow stronger,
it’s very important to play it cool and show it subtly.
For example, if you’re in a situation where you need to assert yourself,
start and end the conversation with an assurance of love and assert yourself in between.
If you slack off with your partner,
your partner will guilt-trip you and hit you with the classic
“you’ve changed” or “you’re becoming selfish.”
And it doesn’t make a big difference whether your partner is a nice or a violent controller;
he’ll do anything to sabotage your progress and take you all the way back to square one,
where he had your full attention.
So, assuming this relationship is worth saving,
you have to keep treating your partner like gold.
But the game-changer here:
is that you’ll be strong to stand up for yourself and make sure you're a top priority,
just like your partner and the kids.
That’s fair, right?
It's all about balance,
and I can't emphasize enough how crucial that is.
When you're introducing all this newfound strength into your life,
things might get a tad confusing.
It's like getting a shiny new dishwasher,
you need to figure out how it works first.
Give yourself and your partner some time to digest your new changes,
and soon enough,
you’ll be clear about what you want, and he will accept that he's no longer holding all the cards.
So, take it slow at first,
and don't change a single thing until you've got enough clarity to decide whether you should stay or take your leave.
If you choose to stay,
make sure you keep rocking the balance of treating your partner like gold and treating yourself like a superstar,
and eventually his controlling behavior will balance out
and your life is going to do a 180-degree backflip right in your favor!
In short,
you can massively change your life if you focus on your healing.
Don’t try to change your partner;
trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change is like trying to teach a cat to bark,
a complete waste of energy and time.
So, drop that mission impossible.
It's time to empower yourself with a radically different approach that really works.
Forget about Mr. Unchangeable for now and shift your focus inward.
Focus on healing yourself.
And watch how the whole game changes.
That moves us to the solution.
Recovering The Trauma Is NOT Your Solution.
You might think that recovering the trauma is what will solve your problems.
While recovering is important,
it's not enough.
Recovering means you're trying to go back to who you were before;
the person who did not know better and landed you in that relationship.
If you stop at recovering,
you'll continue to attract controllers into your life;
you’ll get rid of a controller to move to the next one.
Recovering means you're still holding onto the familiar past.
But healing? Oh, that's a different story.
Healing is a rebirth for an entirely new person.
Healing is about doing things you've never even dreamed of.
Healing is about showering yourself with love,
accepting yourself unconditionally,
and saying, "I'm not taking anyone's crap anymore!"
Had you healed,
you wouldn't have been attracted to a controller,
and you would have clearly seen his behavior for what it really is.
With recovering, the change won't last,
but with healing,
the change is forever.
And that's what I'm offering you:
a massive healing
and a massive transformation
where you'll never be the same person ever again,
not even the person you were before that relationship.
You'll be a new person with a new identity and unshakable strength and confidence.
Remember why you ended up in a controlling relationship?
because you skipped the homework,
You didn't heal your early life trauma.
That trauma is what set the base for another one later in the relationship.
But you're now in the perfect place to heal both traumas.
That's totally achievable, but only for serious people.
I'm offering you deep, intensive therapy
that will get you a massive transformation,
and the benefits are endless.
How I Can Help You
Hi, I'm May Abougabal
Owner of Wakefield Therapy and
specializing in healing controlling relationship trauma
I’m offering you deep intensive therapy that will help you break your partner's control,
heal your trauma,
and build insane strength and confidence to do anything you set your mind to.
I’ll take your hand and walk you, shoulder to shoulder, to a whole new reality.
Not only the person overpowering you will no longer be a concern,
but you’ll open up to life and become motivated to level up and do things you never thought possible.
If you’re satisfied with where you're now, then you’re blessed,
and I’m truly happy for you.
But if you’ve been living resentful, traumatized, and stuck,
I want you to know that it’s not a life sentence.
You can heal and make the rest of your life the best of your life.
The sweet part is that healing doesn’t have to take months or years;
it can happen so fast, just in a matter of a few hours or even less.
Why Should You Listen To A Single Word I Have To Say?
I’m an expert in what I do.
I've been in this field since 2016,
and I've been working globally with people from all over the world,
English or Arabic speakers,
regardless of their background.
I'm not just certified in hypnotherapy;
I'm also a certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).
I’m a specialist in anxieties, fears, pain management, trauma recovery, grief recovery, smoking cessation, and ADHD.
I proudly hold the title of Master Advanced Conversational Hypnotherapist.
That's a mouthful, right?
It means I've got all the tools and skills up my sleeve to help you overcome your challenges
and become the person you’ve always dreamed of.
And,
There's one more thing I believe just as important as my knowledge and experience,
I have been there,
and I know exactly how it feels to completely lose who you are.
It has been quite a journey for me to become the person I am now.
I’ve seen it all, the self-doubt, the not-good-enough,
and all feelings of inferiority,
but I chose to heal.
Installing strength in the place of weakness and fear wasn’t easy for me.
Had I known back then what I know now,
I could have shortened my healing journey to a fraction of the time, money, and effort spent.
I'm here to help you heal and my superpowers are my kindness, patience and the vast knowledge and skills I've collected through years.
Let’s Talk About Your Objections
Now, can a wild healing transformation really happen in just a few hours or less?
Absolutely!
If you throw in the right stuff,
not just that it can happen super fast, it's crazy easy,
zero effort needed.
Let me break it ALL down for you.
Ever heard about hypnotherapy?
You may think, hypnotherapy?!!
Hell no, that’s not for me.
Ok, I’m gonna break this in two parts:
first, I'll tell you why I swear by hypnotherapy as your best and safest choice,
especially when it comes to self-improvement and emotional healing,
and second, what might have gone wrong if it didn't quite work for some people.
So, why I believe hypnotherapy is your best and safest choice.
You’ve probably heard a lot of myths about hypnotherapy,
but as they say,
“when there are multiple theories to explain something, the simplest one is often the most accurate.”
In its simplest and most accurate form,
hypnotherapy is just two words: “hypno” and “therapy”.
'Hypno' is connecting with the subconscious mind,
and 'therapy' is guiding it to make a change.
What's so special about connecting with your subconscious?
Can you recall a time when you tried to make a change in your life, get rid of a bad habit or adopt a new one?
Did you feel like a part of you was resisting and holding you back so strongly that you ended up stuck doing nothing or,
even worse,
bouncing right back to the old habit you were trying to change?
Well, that resistance is your subconscious in play.
But why would your subconscious resist you?
As we stated before, your mind has two parts:
the subconscious, which physically takes up 90% of your mind,
and the conscious, which grabs the leftover 10%.
The subconscious is where all the actions happen;
it has programs for everything:
walking, running, standing, habits, values, beliefs, concepts, self-image, etc.
It’s also so powerful,
with an infinite memory storing all your life experiences since you were in the womb.
It never sleeps, not even a nap;
it’s working for you 24 hours a day, all your life.
Behind the scenes,
it handles millions of involuntary functions like sweating, digestion, fighting germs,
healing, heart beating,
and muscle coordination, just to name a few.
Your subconscious is like a maestro orchestrating a perfect symphony,
ensuring all these functions work in harmony,
no mistakes.
Your subconscious works in programs,
and any program is like a wish that MUST be granted.
It directly influences your behavior.
It just happens easily, naturally,
without forcing or straining.
Let’s say you wanna lose weight and you know exactly what you should do.
You know how to count your calories.
You've got the perfect meal plan,
a gym membership,
and the fanciest protein shake you can buy.
You're doing great for a week or so, sticking to the plan,
but suddenly,
you find yourself binging and skipping the gym.
What happened is that all those stuff you did were logical,
conscious stuff.
while they are great and important,
but remember,
your conscious is just 10% of your mind.
You’ve only tackled 10% of the equation;
what about the remaining 90%?!!!
You could be acing all the logical stuff,
but if you haven’t changed that subconscious program,
you’re getting no where.
If your subconscious still sees you as a big eater,
that’s a wish to be granted;
you’ll eat that chocolate cake or bag of chips
easily and effortlessly
despite your great plans.
Rule of thumb,
when you have a conflict where you consciously want something but your subconscious wants the opposite,
the subconscious always wins and dominates.
Imagine when 90% of your mind is working against you;
it’s no wonder you’re feeling stuck.
In no time,
you’re back to overeating and lounging on the couch like a pro.
Your subconscious is resisting you, holding onto that old habit for a reason.
There might be an emotional benefit connected to it,
which we call the "payoff" or the root cause.
Until we find that payoff and address it,
your subconscious will keep clutching onto that old habit or negative belief.
For example,
overeating might be connected to feelings of guilt or using layers of fat as a social shield.
Your subconscious is basically saying,
“No, you can’t lose that weight.
I have a good reason for that,
and I want the best for you.
But if you fix that reason,
I'll loosen my grip,
and I will not resist you;
even better,
I’ll make losing that weight my next to be granted goal.”
You have to take care of that so your subconscious doesn’t resist you and work in harmony with your conscious.
Instead of just moving toward your goal with 10% of your power,
the other 90% jumps in,
and every cell of your being is moving toward achieving your goal with nothing holding you back.
So, what do we know so far?
By now, we know that:
1-The subconscious works in programs.
2-These programs are wishes to be absolutely granted;
they shape, steer, and dictate your behavior, even though many are counterproductive.
3-The subconscious is keeping these programs running for a reason.
could be merely because you made it a priority and kept doing stuff on repeat, or
there's a benefit you’re getting (we call it the "payoff") ,
and you might not even know it.
4-The subconscious is the big boss, and it always gets the final say.
5-If you consciously have a wish in mind that doesn’t line up with the subconscious programming,
you’ll be faced with great resistance.
It’ll either keep you stuck or regress you back to the old program or behavior.
Considering all of this,
it's pretty clear that for genuine and long-lasting change,
we've got to bring the subconscious on board.
It's a must, and there’s no way around that.
The key is to connect with the subconscious and guide it to work in harmony with your conscious towards the same goals.
This is essential for a successful change.
Rather than having a part of you resist the change,
your whole self goes all in,
making those goals happen faster and smoother than you ever thought possible.
That was the answer to the first part.
The second part:
why it might not have worked for some people.
Let me walk you through a traditional session and tell you where exactly it went wrong.
A session is usually divided into 3 parts.
The first part is for breaking the ice
and making you familiar with your therapist.
The second part is when you start talking about your problem and what you want out of the session,
and the therapist starts writing down what you’re saying word for word.
Then the third part is when the hypnotherapist puts you into a trance state,
which is a sleep-like state,
but you still have awareness.
In this state,
your mind is receptive and open to suggestions.
The hypnotherapist literally reinforces,
word for word,
what you wanted earlier in the second part,
but with some tweaking.
For example,
if you came for a smoking problem,
the suggestions would be something like:
"You hate smoking," "Smoking stinks,"
"You can't stand the smell of a cigarette,"
and "You're a non-smoker.”
Once the client snaps out of trance,
the therapist wraps up the session,
and they just let the client head out without testing the results and checking if things really shifted.
The therapist is pretty much aware these changes wouldn’t stand a test,
so they treat the client like a fine china that shouldn’t be touched,
like one wrong move will break the spell.
Soon enough,
the client finds out that nothing much has really changed.
Where did this session go wrong?
The problem is that while the therapist may have nailed the “hypno” part
but he wasn’t that good in the “therapy” one.
Simply feeding your client word for word isn’t true therapy.
It might work for some,
but others have much deeper issues.
Plus the therapist assumed his client knew what the problem was,
which is far from the truth.
Clients aren't aware of what's going on with them;
they're just describing what they've noticed
or taking their best guesses.
Take smoking, for example.
Smoking isn't the problem; it's merely a symptom,
merely the tip of the iceberg.
It's a surface manifestation of a deeper underlying issue.
It could be linked to loneliness or other emotional needs.
Fix that root problem,
and they’ll drop the habit without cravings or
in other words, without resistance.
The therapist MUST find the positive intentions behind the resistance,
the thing that's keeping you stuck in those bad habits or negative thoughts.
Failing to do so will not yield lasting results and clients slide back to old habits.
The subconscious at it’s core is a life preserving machine.
It operates behind the scenes like an ever-watchful guardian,
making sure we stay safe and sound.
Its main job is to protect us from harm,
be it a physical threat, emotional distress, or any other danger.
Sometimes It fights us in a harsh, aggressive way
but that’s tough-love style.
There’s always a positive intention behind it related to our safety and the preservation of our lives.
Ignoring this positive intention (the "payoff") gets you no where.
I once had a client with a crazy back pain,
which turned out to be her body's way of sending a message: she needed to rest.
She had been pushing herself too hard,
busting herself in work and caring for others.
Her fear of being judged stopped her from taking breaks.
Her subconscious in it’s tough love way
used pain to force her to rest without being judged.
Knocking out two birds with one stone,
cause no one will judge her when she’s resting for pain.
Once we identified and addressed the positive intention,
her back pain disappeared,
and it only took 90 minutes!
If I had given her direct suggestions to numb the pain,
not only would her subconscious have rejected them,
but she might have missed the message her body was sending
which was vital to her well being.
How am I different?
My therapy is very deep and powerful.
I’ll find the answers to why this problem first came your way,
and why are you stuck in it ?
I’ll tackle your problem from all angle,
untying as many knots as humanly possible until the problem disappears.
Most importantly,
I pay attention to the minute details and I spend a good chunk of my session aggressively testing my results.
That’s how I guarantee they will become second nature to you.
You’ll be as strong as steel;
no matter how life challenges you,
you’re always ready.
Funny enough,
when I ask my clients at the end of the session
“so, what is the problem now?”
it’s almost always the same answer.
They scratch their heads in surprise and say,
“there wasn’t a problem!!!”
You won’t feel like you’re sitting with your therapist.
I’m just a human being interested in and curious about your story.
We’ll have a mind-blowing, life-changing conversation.
I know how to make every cell of you work toward achieving your goals.
I love working with my clients;
I enjoy every minute of it because I believe I’ve got the best job in life.
For me,
therapy is all about the wholeheartedly genuine happiness that lights up my clients’ faces by the end of the session.
A big shift from when they first walk in,
looking serious, sad, and teary.
If I could snap a picture of that happiness,
it'd be saying,
"I'm not stuck any more; now I have hope.
I'm all kinds of happy, curious, and pumped up,
just like a fresh little baby."
I want you to be as happy and open to life as these people;
that's entirely achievable.
Putting It All Together:
By now,
you've probably connected the dots and figured out where your problem began,
leading you to this place of sadness, resentment, trauma, and feeling stuck.
However,
you also understand that it doesn't have to stay this way;
it can easily change if you choose to heal.
so let’s make that happen.
I’m offering you deep intensive therapy that will help you
break your partner's control,
heal your trauma, and
build insane strength and confidence to do anything you set your mind to.
Not only the person overpowering you will no longer be a concern,
but you'll also open up to life with crazy motivation to grow and achieve things you never thought possible.
let me take a minute to tell you about some of the brilliant benefits of therapy:
You'll fall in love with the person in the mirror.
No more feeling stuck,
Your motivation will go through the roof.
Now that your energy isn't stagnant, you'll feel more alive to take action and make more money.
You’ll go after your goals and dreams with passion and determination,
and nothing will hold you back.
Weakness is gone, replaced with genuine strength,
and anxiety is replaced with pure serenity.
You’ll improve your relationship if it can be improved,
and disconnect from the toxic ones that will not change.
And while you're too busy rebuilding yourself inside out,
your partner’s bossy behavior will naturally balance out.
You'll be the superhero parent your children deserve –
stronger, better, turning every defeat into a victory story.
And if your relationship has already ended,
you'll get over the hurt, heal the trauma, and stand on your feet.
You'll have the motivation and strength to pursue your goals with nothing holding you back.
You’ll attract the right person,
no more controllers,
just someone who lets you be your badass, independent self.
Supportive, nurturing, hilarious,
and adoring every inch of you for who you are.
You’ll feel absolutely free.
Who's this for :
-This is for you if time isn't a luxury and you want to heal As Soon As Humanly Possible, so you can quickly get back on track taking care of yourself or your loved ones.
- If you're stuck in a relationship with a control freak and you're feeling traumatized and clueless about your next move.
- If you've a domineering family and you're itching to find some healing.
- If you stumbled onto this report as a victim but, while reading, you realized you've also got some control freak tendencies.
- If you've just walked away from a controlling relationship and you're looking to heal your trauma, stand on your feet, and move forward.
- If you're a control freak but you've got a burning desire to switch things up and change your ways.
How does it work:
1- Done for you:
I’ll do the heavy lifting for you. You don’t need to do a single thing; I've got you covered.
I will NOT give you a 10-module self improvement course that takes ages to complete.
Instead, I'll take you by the hand
and walk you through everything,
side by side.
All you need to do is sit back, relax, and tell me your story.
2- Fast, Fast, Fast:
Unlike traditional therapy, which takes a long time to see results,
my therapy delivers immediate, trackable results.
My clients often report that my therapy is the only one that truly clicked with them.
They've spent years with other therapists without achieving the kind of results they experienced after just one session with me.
I want you to get back to your normal life as soon as possible,
where you will not need me anymore.
My work significantly shortens the therapy duration,
so no more wasting money and time on things that don’t work.
3- Permanent results:
my results stand the test of time,
and there are two reasons for that:
A. I will not hand out tips or pre-packaged answers and theories.
Therapists who are doing that aren’t doing you any favors.
That's shallow therapy that will not lead to lasting changes.
My goal is to uproot your negative beliefs and tackle whatever keeps you stuck.
Once that happens, the problem melts away like an ice cube on a hot, sunny day.
B. I test my results like crazy
because if I don’t,
the whole world will be testing you the moment you step out of the session.
I'm all about delivering rock-solid results,
so when you leave, you're insanely prepared to face whatever life throws your way.
4- Stopwatch-Free Therapy:
I'm all about going the extra mile to make sure you feel comfy and secure.
And as for time,
while other therapists in the mental health field are clock-watchers,
that's not my style.
I will not rush you out the door for the next client, Nope.
Your session is gonna stretch as long as it needs to tackle whatever on your plate.
5- Virtual sessions:
virtual sessions were proven to be as effective, or sometimes more effective than in-person ones.
We’ll meet via Zoom video in the comfort of your home
with no prior preparation and no time wasted.
And since my sessions are very intense,
you’ll need to rest afterwards,
and having the session in the comfort of your home allows you to do that perfectly.
You don’t need a Zoom account; just click the link emailed shortly after booking,
and if you can’t find it, remember to check your spam folder.
6- How many sessions will you need:
That’s very individual, and every client is a unique case.
Besides, it’s not healthy to tell you I'm gonna fix your problem in x number of sessions.
In this case,
you may subconsciously hold off fixing your problem until the last session,
when in fact,
your problem could be fixed in just one hour.
So what I would prefer is to go session by session.
We’ll meet and start therapy right away, and you may not need more than one session.
But hey,
I only offer a limited number of therapy sessions.
And that’s for one big reason:
I only take one client a day.
I work closely and intensively with my clients so they can see results quickly.
I want to give the best of my knowledge and experience to each client.
You’ll have my undivided attention.
I will not rush you for the next client, it’s quite the opposite, your session will stretch as much as we need to get things done.
Free 30 Min Strategy Call:
To book a free 30 min strategy call , please use the link below.
You'll be guided to select a good time for you,
then you'll need to answer a few questions to confirm your booking.
Shortly after booking,
you'll receive an email containing the link for the meeting.
When it's time for the meeting,
simply click the link provided in the email.
If you can't find the email, please check your spam folder.
Additionally,
you'll receive text or email reminders for our appointment,
so please keep an eye on your spam folder if you can't find them.
For any questions,
the best way to contact me is through email:
I'll reply within 24h